Deciphering the mystery of Singapore's MRT station names

I tried to take the MRT to the Esplanade the other day. I had a wedding to attend in the afternoon and the National Day rehearsals were on, and I thought it best to avoid driving into the area surrounding the Padang.

Oh, did I also mention that I was taking the entire family there? Yes the entire Lee Clan (I do have a Chinese name besides mrbrown, you know).

Together with my two domestic helpers, three kids, one wife, and both my parents, we looked like a National Day contingent. I think we should have brought along some flags that said "The Lee Family: No, Not That One" and joined the march.

The first thing we learned was that the Esplanade MRT Station is a lie. It is no where near the Esplanade. We had to walk through the labyrinth that is underground Citylink Mall to get there.

I think when you name a station Esplanade, you are expected to locate it within the same time zone of the actual Esplanade.

Riddle of the missing destinations

I am just as annoyed by Promenade MRT Station too. You supposedly get off that station if you want to go to Suntec City mall.

I have no idea where I am when I come out of Promenade station and I have no idea how to get back in there when I am in Suntec City. It is almost as if someone just plonked a station there, and thought it would be fun to see if Suntec shoppers can find it. 

One of my Twitter friends commented that Esplanade MRT Station should have been named Suntec Front Side and Promenade MRT Station named Suntec Back Side. That would have made it so much clearer. 

Or better yet, call Esplanade Station, You Still Have A Bladdy Long Way To Walk To Get To Esplanade MRT Station.

Some of the other stations on the MRT network fare better. Bishan MRT Station is in Bishan, Woodlands is really in Woodlands town, and Ang Mo Kio MRT Station is in the heart of Ang Mo Kio. 

But many stations have names that don't tell you where it is. Take Dakota MRT Station along the Circle Line. That is located near Old Airport Road. Now the logical thing to do is to name it Old Airport Road MRT Station, right? It even has a nice ring to it, bringing with it a sense of nostalgia and even reminding you of the Old Airport Road Hawker Centre and its wonderful food (try the fried Hokkien mee from Nam Sing stall).

What's in a name?

But no, someone decided it should be named after the Dakota DC-3 aircraft that used to land at the nearby Kallang Airport.

Why not name it Toyota MRT Station, after the many Toyota Corollas that used to park at the Old Airport Road Hawker Centre car park?

And what about Tai Seng MRT Station along the Circle Line? Where the heck is Tai Seng? This station is located along Upper Paya Lebar Road and near MacPherson Road. Nearby is a little-known road called Tai Sing Link that leads to Tai Seng Industrial Estate. You can tell it is little known because it is called Tai Seng LINK. It is not even significant enough to call it ROAD. Yet, this place has a station named after it. 

If you ask most people who live around that area, and I am one of them, what is an easier way to explain where that MRT Station is, most will say "Oh, the station near MacPherson Road!"

But "Wait!" you say, "There is already a MacPherson MRT Station along the Circle Line! It is one station from Tai Seng!"

Yes, gentle reader, and where is Macpherson Station located? It is flanked by a road called Ubi Ave 2 which leads to an industrial area, and the famous Circuit Road, which is home to one of the oldest and quaintest public housing estates in Singapore.

Why couldn't they call MacPherson MRT Station, Circuit Road MRT Station and leave the MacPherson name for Tai Seng MRT Station?

Geography insanity

Singapore road and district naming is already screwy anyway, due to the way the ruling party carves out the boundaries of constituencies. The other day I drove past a giant banner near my home, along Upper Serangoon Road, near Serangoon MRT station and Lorong Lew Lian (translated: Durian Street). The banner declared "Residents of Marine Parade welcome the Youth Olympics Games". 

Isn't Marine Parade along the east coast of Singapore? I did a double take and looked around to make sure I did not drive into a worm hole. Nope, still along Upper Serangoon Road, in Northeast Singapore, surrounded by land.

I am sure the residents of Serangoon will be happy to know they actually live by the sea, like true blue Marine Parade residents do.

They just have to travel another 10 kilometres to reach East Coast Park is all.

Actually, now that I think about it, Lew Lian MRT Station would be a way cooler name for Serangoon MRT Station. But then some people may confuse Lew Lian with Esplanade MRT Station. Both reference durian landmarks, you see. 

Never mind, Singapore is very small. Everything is near everything anyway. Even the sea. Cos the government says so.