mrbrown: We are the citizens of Singapore and we want to vote

Like many Singaporeans, I am feeling a little empty since the General Elections ended.

After the heady feeling of attending rallies, discussing politics with friend and stranger alike, and exercising my vote as if the fate of the Free World and the Galactic Alliance depended on it, I am left to my old life again.

After the X was drawn in the box, what next?

Once you have tasted the fountain of life that is your ability to vote, you start to think.

"That was great! I actually made a difference in my country's political future! I made them LISTEN, dammit!"

Your next thought becomes,

"Ok, what else needs my vote now? Give me anything! Another part of our government? An Upper House or Lower House, maybe? Don't the Americans get to vote a President, a Senate and a House of Representatives? Why can't Singapore have a few more institutions for me to use my awesome power?"

Catching the voting craze

So you hunt for things to vote for. Like lunch: a bowl of minced pork noodles versus a plate of satay (I voted satay).

Or maybe that American Idol show on TV, do they accept SMS votes from overseas?

Maybe an online vote for a petition We Support Creating a Ginormous Statue in the Likeness of Our Founding Father, Lee Kuan Yew.

You just want to vote. You have to vote. Or you will explode.

I suspect the ruling party knows this.

The 2011 General Elections has awakened apathetic Singaporeans from the slumber of walkovers. The population now knows they wield the sword of democracy in their tiny voting slip.

And with the Presidential Elections coming up, you don't want the same angry voters from the General Elections going to the polls to choose our largely ceremonial President. They might pick someone the ruling party does not favor.

Or worse, some of these crazies might even think of standing for President.

Could you be the next president of Singapore?

Not that it would be easy to qualify as a candidate, mind you. There is a Presidential Elections Committee that gets to vet candidates and the criteria is strict.

For example, one has to have served at least three years as a Minister (political, not religious), or a Chief Justice, or a CEO of a company with a paid-up capital of at least S$100 million (US$80.8 million).

And if you pass that, there is still this nice little vague kicker: "He must be a person of integrity, good character and reputation."

How does one measure THAT? And who gets to decide what is integrity enough, good character enough, or reputable enough?

The Presidential Elections Committee, of course.

Our last two Presidential Elections were walkovers. No candidate was deemed good enough to even stand against President S.R. Nathan. So some people jokingly called it the Presidential Selections.

Walkovers, what's that?

I don't think Singaporeans will stand for a one-candidate show this time. We do want to have at least two chaps to choose from. We don't care where you find them, just throw two candidates that qualify out there.

Read my lips, "No more walkovers."

My friends in Tanjong Pagar GRC, headed by MM Lee Kuan Yew, the only constituency with a walkover, are particularly keen to vote. They had to watch the rest of the nation cast their votes, like a bunch of kids left out of a soccer game.

This would be the last chance for the Tanjong Pagans to vote for something. Or they would spend the next five years waiting.

So what's a voter got to do to vote some dudes around here?

I propose some interim events to satiate the appetite of a newly motivated electorate.

Revive the voting fever

Maybe hold some minor local elections for posts like Minister of State for Lamp-posts. Or Junior Minister of State for Clearing the Bulky Items from the Common Corridor.

Perhaps a local level election to choose the Supervisor of the Cleaners Who Come from a Third World Country.

Besides local politics, we could create a Cabinet of non-essential national posts like Minister of Kindness and Minister of Gracious Behavior on MRT Trains.

The latter would be responsible for sending out teams of trained professionals to ensure commuters do not pretend to sleep on trains, thereby not giving up their priority seats to the elderly, the disabled and the pregnant.

I would also like this Shadow Cabinet to included an elected official whose sole remit is to clear all the tissue paper packets used by Singaporeans to "chope" or reserve tables at food centers.

The Ministry of Chope and the Minister of Chope will go forth and just confiscate tissue packets on tables, freeing the tables for others to use, and reselling said tissue packets to fund an under-appreciated sport, ilke Formula One Lawn Tractor Racing.

In 2008, Americans supporting Obama were told: Vote for Hope.

I say for 2011, Singaporeans should Vote for Chope.