mrbrown is engrossed by the MTV EMAs

I was invited to watch a preview of the MTV European Music Awards before the rest of Southeast Asia got to watch it. This year's gala event was held in Madrid, Spain but my invite only extended to Lorong Chuan, Singapore, where MTV Asia's headquarters were located.

I did get a nice limousine taxi picking me up for the very early morning screening of the awards show (probably because they heard of my reputation for not being a morning person). My wife hitched a ride because she worked nearby, so she was most pleased with a free cab ride, during rush hour, on a Monday morning.

I was pretty much the first folk to see this broadcast (besides the staff) in Singapore because the EMAs were broadcast at 3 a.m. Singapore time, just hours before. Our host was Holly, the lovely VJ.

With me were other journalists, bloggers and online personalities from the region, like Malaysia's funniest blogger, Kenny Sia, who flew in from Kuching, Sarawak, to join us. As usual, the table was filled with open laptops, mostly with Twitter open.

 

Let the show begin

Eva Longoria was the host this year and she even had a rap to go with it. It was quite refreshing to see a "Desperate Housewife" who can also rap. Being able to fit into tiny dresses, some with no bottom halves, also helps, I think.

Her best dress was the Spanish Ham, a tribute to the meat dress worn by Lady Gaga at the MTV VMAs earlier in September. I heard Lady Gaga was not amused.

The opening act was Shakira and I could not help noticing her abs. Ok, there was also her rather significant derrière, which she was shaking around a lot. But I swear I was looking at her abdominal muscles a lot more. How many crunches did that woman do to get them looking like THAT?

Best New Act went to Ke$ha, who beat Justin Bieber. I felt I had to speak up on behalf of Bieber fans everywhere and tweeted that I will still buy Justin's perfume even after this setback.

I am still trying to figure out how Ke$ha signs her checks with a name like that. Do banks allow $ symbols in a name? How about the artist formerly known as Prince? Does he sign his checks with his symbol too?

I contemplated adding a symbol to my name, mrbrown, too. Maybe a zero where the O is: mrbr0wn. Or a Euro symbol: mrbr€wn. I think it will give me more street cred.

And in case you are wondering what Ke$ha performed at the EMAs, it was "Tik Tok" (does she have ANY other songs?).

And the winners are ...

Lady Gaga won the most awards that night, Best Pop Act, Best Female Act and Best Song. I found it amusing that she kept getting interrupted at her own concert in Budapest to accept the awards live via satellite.

At one point she had on this translucent dress with a pair of duct tape crosses on her, er, chest region. I hope she didn't get hurt when they yanked those off for the next costume change.

Justin Bieber was no slouch either. He won two awards, Best Male and Best Push Act. At first I wasn't sure what Best Push Act was -- I thought it had something to do with giving birth -- but later someone told me it had something to do with being the best hot new act.

I could hear the gasps of disbelief when Justin Bieber beat the likes of Eminem, Usher, Enrique Iglesias and Kanye for Best Male. This proves that he is more Man than all of them. He out-manhooded Eminem and Usher, my friends.

I am sure Kanye is already plotting how to interrupt Justin when he gets an award the next time, just to show the boy who is Da Man. 

The Bieber needs to spell check

Justin Bieber was also the digital host of the EMAs. I think it involves sitting at home and tweeting stuff about it. That seems like an easy gig. Poor Eva had to stand in front of the TV cameras saying stuff and changing in and out of dresses, while Justin just had to tweet. He could have done that in his pajamas and no one would know. 

One of his tweets was:

"i gotta say this one on my own twitter...Bon Jovi just said the most epic thing ever. 'I wanna sell out the dessert.' so badass"

I was puzzled by that tweet from the esteemed Digital Host. Why would MTV EMA Global Icon winner Bon Jovi want to sell out the dessert? Was it part of Bon's Jovi's business plan to corner the global market on cheesecake?

Watching the EMAs myself, I finally heard what Bon Jovi said, and it was "I wanna sell out the desert," meaning he wanted to hold a concert bigger than even a stadium. What a different one "s" makes. Stay in school, kids.

Wardrobe malfunction overkill!

One of the things you probably will not see on TV is the scene where the "Jackass" crew came out to present an award and Wee-man's boxers developed a wardrobe malfunction. Actually it was not even a malfunction. His boxers were yanked and we all got to see his tush and bush as nature intended, in addition to other dangly bits.

I think I will be needing therapy for a while.

Miley Cyrus also performed at the show. The parent in me could not help wondering, does her daddy know she forgot her dress and is performing in her undergarments?

After three hours, as long as PM Lee Hsien Loong's National Day Rally speeches but with better music and outfits, the EMAs ended. It was a fun way to spend the morning, and I am not just saying it because I got myself some swag ("Dora the Explorer" hand puppet, woohoo!).

Now if I can only get Wee-man's willy out of my head.