mrbrown: 'Tis the season for a pay hike

“Wages up 5.6% amid rebound” trumpeted a news report, as if all of Singapore got a raise.

It looked like they almost wanted to add a “Woohoo” to the headline.

The news report said that the average monthly earnings of a worker in Singapore rose to S$4,089 (US$3,190) from S$3,872 (US$3,021) in 2009, based on earnings figures released by the Ministry of Manpower.

Based on last year’s inflation of 2.8 percent, the report said the 5.6 percent increase was adjusted to a more modest 2.7 percent in real earnings.

This year inflation is expected to hit 4 percent.

I suppose inflation is why the President will be getting a whopping S$890,700 (US$695,000) pay hike.

Someone is doing their job ...

Yep, you read that right. The President of Singapore is getting his salary, ahem, adjusted from S$3,376,800 (US$2,634,931) to S$4,267,500 (US$3,329,996).

That’s a 26 percent jump.

My fingers are cramping up just typing those numbers. Even the currency conversion website I typed these numbers into said “Daaaaaamn, that’s a lotta numbers!”

In the newspapers, this piece of news was tucked away at the bottom left-hand corner of the page, under the headline “President’s pay approved.”

Doing the bait and switch?

It was just a few paragraphs. Like it was reporting an unimportant piece of news.

In online news reports, the headline was “Changes to President, Istana expenditure.”

His rise is in tandem with the pay hikes of the political, judicial and civil service appointment holders, including the Prime Minister and other ministers.

Singaporeans are used to this. We pay top dollar for our talent and we expect them to know when it's a good time to give themselves a pay rise.

Only in Singapore

In any other country, such a hefty salary increase for the leaders of the land would be met with howls of protest and the shaking of pitchforks.

But not in Singapore. We shrug our shoulders because we know nothing we say will matter. What do we know about how much a President or a Prime Minister should earn, right?

The most we can muster is a “Wah, increase so much, ah? President’s job must be very hard, kissing those babies and meeting important leaders from other countries.”

To underscore how confident our ruling party is in its own self-worth, all these pay hikes were approved in an election year.

But for the normal man on the street

I am sure other civil servants got their raises too, which is probably why you don’t hear any protests from that sector. But those of us in the private sector, especially those of us who did not even get anywhere near the 5.6 percent increase in our salaries, we had to practise what we call in Singapore, “suck thumb.”

I do not know the etymology of “suck thumb” but it means something to the effect of “accepting the circumstances because there is nothing you can do about it.”

Singlish is a very efficient dialect, as you can see. We managed to condense that whole long idea into two words.

Sure some of us may have saltier words we want to use when we hear of the generous government pay raises and bonuses, but it is hard to articulate the words when you have your thumb in your mouth.

All thumbs about the issue

It’s not like we have not seen these hikes before. In 2007, ministerial salaries were a hot issue too. We made some noise, online petitions were mooted and letters were written to the press. But the pay raises went ahead anyway.

Let’s go back to the Singlish phrase of the day -- suck thumb.

Hey, I am not jealous. I am a very contented person. I don’t even own a car. My net worth is seven bicycles, six old film cameras and an HDB flat I have not finished paying for.

I wouldn’t want to be in such a high pressure job like a Minister or a President anyway. I am sure there are some pretty steep KPIs set for a figurehead President who is getting a S$890,700 raise. Maybe he will have to attend more charity shows or kiss 26 percent more babies.