mrbrown: Singapore is a nation of complainers

As Singaporeans read about yet another strike by the London subway workers, we reflect on the fact that this would never happen in Singapore. Our media relishes showing the strikes and chaos in other countries to remind us how lucky we are.

Tripartite: A tricky term

The efficient MRT system in Singapore.

In contrast, our public transport system runs like clockwork and our workers, well, we don't know the meaning of the word "strike" or for that matter, the meaning of the word "union."

Most unions in Singapore are in what the government calls a "tripartite" relationship with the government and the business owners. If you asked a Singaporean what "tripartite" means, they will mutter something about the unions being also a part of the government.

Regardless of whether you consider the union situation in Singapore "tripartite" or just "cozy buddies," it does create a strike-free system so that regular Joes can take the train every morning, knowing that it is unlikely to stop working just because subway workers are disgruntled yet again.

In fact, if our subway stops, it is likely due to things like upgrading. Some stations were closed over the weekend for upgrading and over the long term, our Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong tells us that upgrading the switching system will cost up to S$1 billion (US$715 million). The old switching system only allows trains to be, at most, two minutes apart, and the new one will let trains come one minute apart.

Then Mr Goh went on to say that the cost may not be passed down to commuters directly, but it has to be defrayed. At that point, every Singaporean gulped, and unconsciously touched their wallets and purses, because we know what that means.

The operative words were "MAY not be passed down" and "defrayed." In other words, somehow, some way, someone has to pay.

Complaining about complaining

Not happy ah?

Mr Goh went on to encourage Singaporeans not to complain too much and remember that there are still the poor and disabled who need help. He said, "It is important that we do not complain too much when we can't get the house that we want, we can't get the carpark that we want, when the MRT trains are a little crowded."

Poor people don't complain about an overcrowded public transport system or the lack of housing, it seems. They must be too busy trying to get welfare payments from a government infamous for being anti-welfare.

To be fair, in Singapore, complaining is a national sport. It is even more popular than local football, which has been getting dismal attendances lately, an average of 214 tickets sold per game. I suspect they are even counting the cleaners who work at the stadium and the stray cats when submitting attendance reports.

I think if we took the millions we give to Singapore soccer and pumped it into a new sport, Pro Complaining, we'd be raking in the moolah.

So you think you can complain?

At the entry level, athletes can complain about the easy and simple targets, like packed buses and ridiculous cost of car ownership in Singapore. But at the higher levels of the sport, you must show your ability to complain and nitpick about things that are generally fine, like why the cops took an extra five minutes to catch a criminal. Or why your S$2 bowl of noodles has one less slice of fish cake.

Then in the big leagues, professional complainers wishing to reach Olympian standards must show their ability to complain about taboo things, like the death penalty, the one-party rule and nepotism.

I know, that is pushing the edge of exile here, but if you want to be a champion complainer, you have to risk everything for your sport, no?

And if you have a death wish, or perhaps you want to play in Extreme Sports Complaining, you talk trash about race and religion. That almost guarantees a short sporting career in Singapore.

For obvious reasons, I think most of us will remain armchair complainers, playing the game as a casual sport. We are too busy trying to make ends meet, getting to work, and squeezing into the next overcrowded peak-hour train.

And besides, our senior minister is already complaining that we complain too much.