mrbrown on the proper use of metaphors

The Youth Olympic Games (YOG) is finally over. Singaporeans can finally return to their lives and embrace the return of the center lane where drivers had to give way to YOG buses. It was not a smooth few weeks here. While we had highs like watching the Opening and Closing Ceremonies, cheering our Young Lions' heroic performance in the Under-15 football matches and seeing young Isabelle Li take the silver in table tennis, the YOG also made some people mad.

Take Abdul Malik Ghazali, for instance. This guy was so mad he posted very angry remarks on his Facebook page and an "I hate the Youth Olympic Games Organizing Committee" page that got him arrested on charges of "incitement of violence."

What did the fellow say? Well, his diatribe against the recent floods, a terrorist's escape and the money spent on the YOG ended with the sentence, "THIS IS THE TIME FOR US TO BURN VIVIEN BALAKRISHNAN AND THE PAP!!!!! RALLY TOGETHER AND VOTE THEM OUT!!!"

Honest officer, it's just a metaphor

The police seem to have taken issue with his use of "burn" which he later said was a metaphor, not meant to be taken literally.

Personally, I think his only crime was typing in all caps and the overuse of exclamation marks (I suggest a month's community service for every unnecessary exclamation mark). You may even take him to task for misspelling the name of our Sports Minister (it's "Vivian" and not "Vivien", and he's a bloke). But I think anyone with half a brain will realize that in the context of what Mr Ghazali wrote, he was not inciting any violence or asking folks to set a minister on fire.

Unless you deem voting the ruling party out an act of violence, of course. 

To be fair, a Member of Parliament did get burnt with acid some time back, which may explain the heightened sensitivity of the authorities.

This arrest has made Singaporeans very nervous. Yes, your Facebook page is read not just by your friends but our government seems to enjoy following your life online as well. Maybe you should take down those photos of you drunk at the office party and that link to the page of the dancing ministers.

'Quoting' our way to freedom

I was going to post something on my Facebook about hauling a minister over the coals for the excessive costs of holding the YOG but I was not sure if I would get arrested too.

I have also changed my mind about toasting the government for an Olympics well run. And don't expect me to poke my Member of Parliament on his Facebook page either. I am refraining from all these expressions until I know what is the official government instruction on how to indicate the use of metaphor.

I suggest quote marks. This will send a clear signal to the authorities that a metaphor is in use.

When I mentioned that I wanted to "grill" my minister at the next Meet the People session, one of my friends responded with "well done," with air quotes. So we can surmise that she is not referring to meat temperature but praising me for my wit.

In the same vein, another friend suggested I be careful or I will be invited to "lim kopi," ("drink coffee" in Hokkien dialect) by the authorities. His use of the air quotes for "lim kopi" informs me that he is using a metaphor for "hauled up for an interrogation in a very cold room for a few days without sleep."

I won't be surprised if there is already a new unit formed for policing the Internet -- what would we call them? Cyber Force? Net Patrol? Robocops? -- scouring the Net looking for Singaporeans posting violent comments, which contain words like "burn," "bake" and "lightly sauté."

Whenever you’re in an airplane on descent into Singapore, there is always an announcement informing passengers, especially the foreigners, that drug trafficking carries a death penalty in Singapore. Perhaps they should start informing everyone that in Singapore, the extravagant use of metaphors may also throw a spanner in the works, sending you up a creek without a paddle and could well land you the wrong side of the Little Red Dot's thin blue line.