One family, two kids: Pioneering Chinese parents break with the one-child policy

Last March, just after Wu Zhenghong and Xu Hui’s daughter Bing Bing turned two, the Shanghai couple welcomed their second child to the family -- a chubby boy called Dou Dou.

The newborn places the couple at the forefront of a new phenomenon in Shanghai: the two-child family.

Second-child plan

According to the Shanghai Population and Family Planning Regulation passed in 2003, couples who do not have children from a previous marriage, and who are both the only child in their respective families, are permitted to have a second child.

The regulation -- created to help remedy the problem of Shanghai’s rapidly graying population -- flies in the face of China's strict and well-known "one-child policy." Shanghai Family Planning authorities have gone so far as to actively encourage eligible couples to go forth and multiply.

Most young couples, especially those born in the 1980s, would say they want to have a second child, but there are many practical obstacles to overcome before this desire can become reality.— Xu Hui, 30, mother 

The special Shanghai regulation does not mean that Shanghai or China’s overall family planning policies have changed –- the one-child policy is very much intact.

Children such as Dou Dou, who are born to parents who fulfill preset conditions, are exceptions referred to as “the second child within plan.”

Public reaction

Although the option to have a second child has been permitted for the past eight years, few Shanghainese families have taken advantage of it.

The reason is simple: as single children in their own families, most young couples still rely on their parents for financial and other forms of support.

• More on CNNGo: Too old for the one-child policy

In addition to coping with work and financial pressures of day-to-day living, many young couples will bear the responsibility of taking care of their own aging parents.

“Most young couples, especially those born in the 1980s, would say they want to have a second child, but there are many practical obstacles to overcome before this desire can become reality,” says 30-year-old mother Xu Hui.

Differences in opinion

Xu and Wu conceived their second child by accident. Initially, they were uncertain about keeping the child.

Growing up with the one-child policy, Xu regarded it as a norm for a family to have only one child.

She'll finally have a sibling.

“I have always wanted two children,” says Wu, who is also 30. “Most of us live in private apartments these days and few of us know our neighbors.

"I’m afraid that my daughter will feel bored cooped at home all day watching ‘Pleasant Sheep and the Big Bad Wolf’ [a popular Chinese cartoon] alone.”

So convinced was she that the one-child family plan was the couples' best course, Xu made a trip to the hospital without her husband’s knowledge while pregnant, with the intention of aborting her son.

She spent the day in the hospital agonizing over her decision until doctors were off-duty.

She says she realized that if she gave up on her son’s life, it would be akin to forcing him to commit suicide.

She says she decided to keep the baby, “because he was a gift from heaven, and I should appreciate that.”

Getting used to a second child

When it comes to educating their children, Wu and Xu want to be different from Shanghainese parents who typically leave their children with their grandparents during the week and function only as “weekend parents.”

Xu insisted on quitting her job to stay home and raise the two children herself.

“Grandparents tend to spoil their grandchildren, and will raise them based on their experiences raising us, which may be outdated,” Xu says. “We hope to raise our children ourselves.

"Though it may be tough, I believe the results will be worth it.”

• More on CNNGo: Should Shanghai grandparents be left holding the baby?

Since the arrival of their second child, Wu and Xu have become less troubled about teaching their daughter to be less selfish and to learn to share.

The couple says that no matter what adversity the brother and sister may face in the future, at least they will have each other for company and support.

The couple has also learned to accept the praise and looks of admiration from those around them. Both of their sets of parents also support their decision to have a second child.

“The positive energy I get from those I encounter outside gives me the strength to raise my children well at home,” says Xu. “After all, we are a minority family among the post-1980s generation, and we are proud to be one.”