Shanghai's 'fake marriage' market: Gay men and women try to fit in

Shanghai, more so than most cities in China, has made strides in supporting -- okay, tolerating -- the local LGBT scene here, with events like this year’s ShanghaiPRIDE week run with relatively little interference.

Nevertheless reports have surfaced, among them one from Slate, of a “fake marriage market” where gay and lesbian Shanghaining marry someone of the opposite sex to fit social conventions.

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“I’m here to find a lesbian, to be with me and to build a home,” says one gay man at the meet-up.

Although it will fulfill their family’s wishes, and fit into the acceptable “straight” lifestyle, the article highlights the predicament of men and women trapped in such situations.

“In my view, a 30-year-old man should start thinking about having a family, but two men can’t hold each other’s hands in the street,” continues the man to the Slate reporter.

“We’re not allowed to be a family,” he says.

“I think my parents would eventually be happy for me, but I don’t want them to take pressure from the rest of society. The big hurdle in our relationship is our families.— Celine, Shanghai lesbian

Even though many gay and lesbian couples in Shanghai say they face little obvious discrimination among their peers, homosexuality is still taboo with China’s older generations.

One lesbian couple featured on CNNGo, Meredith and Celine, say that although they visit each others' homes, their families assume they’re just friends, and although their parents may suspect their relationship, they try to set them up with men.

“If I decide to get married one day, maybe I’d go abroad,” Meredith explains.

Celine, too, worries about the impact of marrying a woman on her family.

“I think my parents would eventually be happy for me, but I don’t want them to take pressure from the rest of society,” she says. “The big hurdle in our relationship is our families.”

The Slate article goes on to quote sexologist Li Yinhe, saying that 80 percent of China’s gay population marries straight people.

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With family and societal pressure like this, it’s of little surprise that a recent survey of singles in China reported that 70 percent of them experience depression due to their single status.

The pressure to marry someone of the opposite sex has also given rise to institutions like Lailai Dance Hall, one of the oldest gay clubs in Shanghai where generations of gay men meet once a week to ball room dance together, and take in the odd drag show, without their official spouses.