Places to avoid when hungover in Shanghai

Saint Patrick’s Day is just around the corner, and this all-day-all-night drink-athon has been known to turn more than a few saints into sinners. It’s even become acceptable to shirk work on this day in order to find your "Irish roots" (we're all Irish on St Patrick's Day, remember?). But the more you drink on the day of, that much worse the next day will be. With this in mind, we present to you the four worst places to go in Shanghai on that fateful morning after. 

1. Shanghai Metro Lines 1 and 2

Being hungover is bad enough when you’re alone in bed curled up under the covers hoping for a quick death. But it is that much worse when you’re surrounded by a seething mass of strangers who also appear completely pissed off about the fact they are awake and are screaming into their cell phones for no apparent reason. The only way to weather this storm is to stand still, close your eyes, and pray that the gods grant you the fortitude to control your gag reflex until you reach your stop. For your sake we hope you're not getting out at the transit mess and fire hazard that is People's Square station.

2. Any of the fake markets, especially Qipu Lu

Your friends’ voices over brunch can be hard enough to tolerate when you’re hungover, so at the fake markets when the fiftieth vendor in a row runs up, grabs your arm, and starts yelling in ambiguous tones of potential excitement, anger, or fear, “Watch, bag, DVD! I give you friend price! Come with me, NOW,” well, it can bring out the worst in anyone.

Jim, a five-year veteran of Shanghai’s markets, recounted a tale of the time he simply couldn’t take it any longer. “This guy repeatedly grabbed my shirt and I had repeatedly swatted away his hand, but he followed me for over five minutes. Finally, I lost it. I grabbed him by the collar and began yelling ‘Watch, bag, DVD!’ back at him. I lost my temper like that and I felt fine, I’m not sure how I would cope there if I was recovering from a hard night.”

3. Carrefour, especially anytime there is a sale on cooking oil

While Shanghai’s numerous outdoor wet markets are infamous havens for noisy crowds of combative ayis and species of land and sea creatures that science has yet to classify, Carrefour one-ups them by bringing the cacophony indoors -- and adding home appliances and everything else under the sun.

While the weekend and just after would be an obvious times to avoid this place, also take special note of times when there are sales on cooking oil. Seriously. In the words of long-time Shanghailander Jeff Ouyang, “Sometimes the checkout lines back up way into the aisles of the actual store. There have been no less than four occasions when while waiting in line I simply abandoned a fully loaded cart of things that I really needed and just left the store because it was so crazy.”
www.carrefour.com.cn

4. Your office

This may seem like a cheap addition to this article, as there are offices everywhere in the world, but bear with us. Offices in Shanghai are by far the world's worst offices when it comes to dealing with a hangover.

For starters, a much smaller proportion of the local population drinks heavily on a regular basis compared to Western countries, so your co-workers are less likely to understand let alone be sympathetic to you in your deteriorated state. Then, in a dynamic developing market like China, you can be sure that few things run on auto-pilot, so forget about hiding at your desk without having to engage with others. And don’t even begin to think about the ridiculous techno song the accounts guy has as his ringtone that he doesn't answer for a good 30 seconds, just so he can listen to his new song.