'Dabangg:' The best way to watch Salman Khan

After watching "Dabangg," the Khan parivaar's Eid weekend blockbuster release at a single-screen theater off SV road, I'm handing it to brothers Arbaaz and Salman Khan. They have produced and starred in a Bollywood action-hero film so unpretentiously cheesy, even the rats rumored to inhabit the dilapidated cinema are taking a seat for this one. 

With "Dabangg"'s record-breaking box office opening weekend of Rs 47 crores, the days of 'dhishum dhishum masala movies' are far from numbered.

Its heart is strong, and if you want the exact pulse of millions of India's film-going masses you'll just have to locate it around Salman Khan's thrusting groin. 

I say that because there's a peculiar new dance move he does in one of 'Dabangg"'s several great song sequences. It's one hand placed on top of the other hand, both wrists attached to his groin, his fingers making flapping movements, hips jerking and following suit. It's unforgettable.

Gaiety Galaxy cinema in Bandra

Especially when you're sitting amongst hardcore Salman Khan fans: the young men that make up his nearly four lakh Twitter followers, many of whom gather with their wives and children in the upper stalls of a single-screen cinema such as the 972-seater Gaiety Galaxy in Bandra, to cheer on Bollywood's own Van Damme during this past Eid-Ganpati holiday weekend. 

There were women in festive shimmering maroon saris, others in black burqas, men in black or white pathan suits and groups of skinny adolescent boys wearing Muslim prayer caps. 

"I will watch this movie because it's a movie by my physical fitness and gym exercise idol Salman!! Also he is a star!!" says one fan online. "In fact I want to watch a 70s and 80s type 'Main tumhe chhodunga nahi .. tera khoon pee jaunga' type of movie! All the new movies are crap! I want this solid masala movie...Yes I am part of the 'common masses' who enjoys a dhishum dhishum masala movie!! [sic]"

Needless to say the experience here is not like those in the multiplex cinemas. It's the difference between Rs 60 and Rs 350 for a ticket and the air conditioning, by the way, is just as effective. 

So is the sound quality -- better than you would expect -- and the angle of vision in the lower stalls makes the whole screen appear just as large as the characters on show. 

It's the difference between wild cheers, running commentary, dancing in the aisles and spicy popcorn versus polite giggles and claps and food service at your seat.

The sound went off for a couple of seconds during an insignificant scene and the crowd of close to a thousand people, protested in unison. They whistled and clapped when Malaika Arora Khan came on for her item number, the irony not lost on them that in real life the half-naked dancing bombshell is also the producer's wife (and mother of his children) and the hero's sister-in-law.

But for all Malaika's gyrations, Salman Khan is "Dabangg."

'Agar apne Ma ka dood piya hai toh...'

Khan plays Chulbul Pandey, a corrupt, trigger-happy cop who fancies himself a bit of a Robin Hood in Uttar Pradesh's wild west. 

Chulbul Pandey has his signature style. His khaki uniform pants are too tight, his ratty moustache too groomed, his classic Rayban gold-rimmed aviators stay tucked into the collar behind his neck during action sequences, and unlike the equally buff villain Chhedi Singh (Sonu Sood), Pandey never parades his glistening biceps and abs -- unless you make him really angry (like you'd have to kill his mother and brother) and then ... well I can't spoiler that part for you. 

The story, you've heard before. It's formulaic Bollywood: a family drama about two brothers and the mother dies. The love story is between the cop-hero and a simple sexy village girl and the fight is to the finish between a local politician and police officer. You adore the hero because he has a heart of gold and the good family triumphs over the corrupt system.

Now instead of registering all weepy and emotional like similarly themed Hindi films of the 1970s and 1980s, "Dabangg"'s story is pitched in comedy. 

It's styled like a Tamil B-movie and directed as an action film by debutant director Abhinav Kashyap (or Salman Khan, if you want to believe trade rag Stardust, which claims that the lead actor also directed five major action sequences in the film). 

"Dabangg" reinforces the notion that a classic Bollywood story can still make crores if it gets a fresher face.  

I had to restrain myself from clapping and jumping out of my seat when they introduced the full-figured, camera-friendly, doe-eyed Sonakshi Sinha to the screen for her Bollywood debut playing Rajo, Pandey's love interest.

Watching "Dabangg", spelt with a good luck double g, at Gaiety Galaxy cinema is an awesome Bombay-style Bollywood experience.

You may not concur with CNN-IBN's film critic Rajeev Masand that it's "possibly the most enduring character [Khan's] ever played" but you will agree when he says it's definitely good "bang for your buck."

Gaiety Galaxy Cinema, Bandra (West), tel. +91 (0) 22 2642 6963