India vs Pakistan: The day 1 billion people call in sick

We’re in Ahmedabad for the India-Australia quarter final of the ICC Cricket World Cup 2011.

A buddy starts arranging tickets for Mohali, where the semi-final will be played, even before the game is won. Six of us superstitious maniacs abuse him with words too severe for print, for jinxing our chances against Australia.

You don’t do that in Indian cricket.

As the winning runs are scored, chants for “Mohali..Mohali…Mohali!” begin.

When India play Pakistan there on Wednesday, approximately one fifth of the world’s population will come to a standstill.

This is the final as far as we’re concerned, the biggest match of the tournament between two nations with a painfully sore history.

The days leading up to the match are filled with discussions about the team combination, whether Sachin Tendulkar will destroy them like he did in 2003 and the fact that India have never lost to Pakistan in a World Cup, ever.

One in every three Facebook status updates in India is about the match. It’ll be two in every three by match day.

The most common ones so far have been “Bring it” and the lame “Declare a national holiday.” I say lame because, let’s be honest, whether it is declared or not -- it will be one.

People are planning to call in sick from work on Wednesday.

An employee sends me an email saying he needs to have dental surgery on the 30th. How dumb does he think I am? I reply saying it's fine and that he should enjoy the match. Another client suggests a meeting on Wednesday afternoon. We both laugh and move on.

While business may be slow for some, a few people stand to have their biggest day of the year on Wednesday.

Like the paanwala I passed a few months ago on the street outside Indigo restaurant in Colaba.

I could overhear the commentary from an India-South Africa match and assuming his radio was on, I asked him the score.

The paan shop owner showed me the phone on which he was watching the live stream on 3G.

Come Wednesday the crowd around his little stall is going to lead to a business bonanza.

Airlines too, are having a field day.

Fares on the Mumbai-Chandigarh, Bangalore-Chandigarh and Chennai-Chandigarh routes which would normally cost Rs 4,000 one-way, are skyrocketing to between Rs 10,000 and Rs 36,000, reports the The Economic Times.

India-Pakistan is one of the great sporting rivalries, not just in cricket, but in all of sport history.

So you can imagine the build up to Wednesday’s semi-final is intense.

Invites are pouring in for Superbowl-style parties.

How do I decide which one to attend? The last time India played Pakistan I watched the game with a certain set of friends. India won. That settles it; I’m watching with them again.

The media will cover the political part of the game -- the presence of heads of state, the first significant match post 26/11, cricket ball diplomacy. Forget it. All we should be focusing on is whether India should play two spinners or three, and how to get 3G on your phone in case the power cuts.

Dust off the slate with memories etched from all our previous historical encounters -- Miandad’s six off the last ball, Prasad-Sohail’s face-off, Tendulkar’s masterful innings in 2003 -- and get ready to add another one.

For the rest of you, enjoy your commute. On Wednesday traffic in Mumbai will be at an all-time low between 2:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. Howzat!