Ajoy Advani: Mumbai can be tough terrain for a solo guy in search of a bar

Mumbai has a decent nightlife. Sure, bars have to pull down their shutters by 1.30 a.m. but there's always an after-party to gatecrash somewhere or the other, on most nights.

So what if you're drinking from plastic cups and eating soggy crisps off a kitchen counter at the apartment of someone who you haven't even been introduced to yet? As long as there's some good music to wobble to and you recognize a couple of the people at the party, you're set.

But that’s the nice part, there are no rules. Friends enter and leave. Likewise, strangers. Or cops. But everyone's having a good time.

Now if only bars and nightclubs would have the same casual attitude.

When it comes to a night out on Mumbai town, a single girl here has it pretty easy.

She gets into most of the clubs for free. A lot of bars have special shots for her on ladies' nights. She can wear whatever she likes, dance on her own and talk to anyone she chooses to without being termed a pervert.

Now a single guy on the other hand, is what most clubs frown upon. They think he’s just there to drink himself silly, flirt randomly and grab ass.

They don't want this man. He’s a nuisance. He’s a social outcast. He is … OMIGOD … a stag.

I hate it when nightclub managers ask me, "Are you stag?”

What do they mean? Do I have antlers growing out of my head? Am I really that hairy? Have I just rolled off the Rocky Mountains? I don't know. I just want to go in and have a drink like a normal human being.

In New Delhi, this could all be solved with a telephone call to a politician's son or pulling out a gun, but in Mumbai we generally try to talk things over first.

Most of the time you will be asked to wait on the side by the bouncer, who does this mainly to test your patience and see how long you would be willing to wait to get in.

After a bunch of single girls have smiled their way through the door, and couples have paid the cover charge, you may be allowed, but will mostly have to pay double for being single.

Another thing to watch for at nightclubs in Mumbai is the dress code.

Though I don't see why there is one. Especially in a city that considers 29 C a good winter.

And this harsh dress code, it's just for men. Harsher still, if you are stag.

Women can wear shorts, flip-flops and a torn T-shirt and be ushered in like Paris Hilton and her latest BFF on the red carpet at the Razzies.

Men, however, have to wear closed footwear -- mandals (man sandals) may be allowed at some places -- and wear a pair of jeans at least, no shorts.

Night spots Privé, Shiro, Escobar, China House, Trilogy and Enigma are all guilty of being code sticklers.

If your knees or toes are in full view, the bouncers will stare you down and then pretend you are invisible. You can drop names, wads of cash or your self-respect, but it’s of no use because they just can’t seem to see you.

Now if you are traveling to Mumbai or living here, and you are stag, the best bet is to be seen at a local neighborhood bar.

They are more casual, play great music and are generally cooler places to hang out than the snooty nightclubs.

Woodside Inn, Busaba, Café Mondegar, Zenzi, WTF, Bonobo and Elbo Room are all tropical-weather friendly and have no problem with your single status or your toe cleavage.

Just as long as you don't jump around like an animal.

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