Phillippa Stewart: Stop calling me fat

Ladies, ladies, ladies -- put down your lettuce leaves and listen up. I was talking to an impossibly beautiful colleague of mine today. I asked her if she wanted to go for lunch. “No, too busy,” she said.

As someone who needs to be fed regularly to keep the inner bitch from hell at bay this struck me as suspicious. I did some digging: “But you need to eat.”

“I’m too fat,” came the response. What? Hold up. Now this girl is seriously gorgeous, petite, and slender. The word "fat" would never have crossed my mind.

I joked back: “Then you must think I’m a whale.” I was met with stony silence.

This incident made me think two things:

1. Am I a whale? Maybe a small walrus, but a whale? I am larger than your average Asian lass, but I work out regularly, am toned and am size 10.

2. Why do so many of my friends and colleagues in Hong Kong constantly go on about how fat they are?

Lighten up

Women everywhere always moan about weight, but it strikes me that it is especially bad in Hong Kong.

And little wonder. On my way to work this morning I must have seen about 16 pairs of heaving breasts attached to lithe abdomens and boy-sized hips on posters advertising quick fixes for weight problems. Slimming centres, diet pills and cosmetic surgery dominate billboards.

I only saw one lone voice for a healthy lifestyle: an ad for a gym almost lost amongst the Photoshopped hotties.

What’s most worrying about believing these women are “ideal” or “normal” is that it can create a huge amount of body dissatisfaction. This is one of the causes of eating disorders, the cases of which have doubled in Hong Kong over the last 20 years.

Philippa Yu, a clinical psychologist at the Hong Kong Eating Disorder Association says their research shows that at least 40 percent of Hong Kong females are dissatisfied with their bodies, and that there is a “cultural pressure to be thin.”

Sharron is a 29-year-old recovering from bulimia. She declined to reveal her full name. At the height of her eating disorder she was taking diet pills and doing up to three hours of intensive exercise a day.

She was living on salad without dressing and apples.

“I used to study in the United States and I didn’t have a problem with my body until I moved back to Hong Kong," says Sharron.

"All my colleagues were on diets, even though they were skinny. It made me think this is what girls should look like. The media and magazines only showed skinny models and it influenced me. All the boutiques would only stock really small sizes as well. It made me think ‘thin is beautiful’.”

at least 40 percent of Hong Kong women are unhappy about their bodies

According to Dr. Sing Lee, Professor of Psychiatry at Chinese University, this idea that “thin is beautiful” is both unrealistic and detrimental to our self-esteem.

“Those models in the ads possess an impossible combination of slimness, tallness and yet a substantial breast. It becomes internalised that this is the standard and most people can not achieve it.”

I know the feeling. The closest I come to having a “substantial breast” is the large chicken in my fridge.

“By and large, women put pressure on themselves and, on the whole, men don’t think that degree of slimness is necessary.” Which begs the question: why on earth are we doing this to ourselves, girls?

KELY is a charity that helps to empower young people in Hong Kong. Director Chung Tang says rather than follow this unrealistic idea of beauty we should “believe in ourselves and not follow the standards that are set in the media.”

The media is not going to change -- sex sells after all. So we need to get real. I am never going to be as small as most Asian women. Neither am I going to look like Miss Moss, Giselle or Du Juan anytime soon.

I have a flat chest and round arse, but I’m fit and healthy. Can we shift the focus away from slimming and towards health?

And please, please, please shut up about being fat. It’s really boring.

My Dr. Phil moment

In true daytime TV chat show style, here are some of the words of wisdom I garnered from my interviews.

“Look at your accomplishments, don’t focus on just one physical standard,” Dr. Sing Lee, Professor of psychiatry at Chinese University.

“Try to modify a perfectionist attitude towards yourself and instead give yourself a bit more allowance to love yourself,” Philippa Yu, Hong Kong Eating Disorder Association.

“We have to be more confident in ourselves. Not everything is about our appearance,” Sharron, recovering from bulimia.

"Develop your own concept of beauty. Always adapt a positive outlook on your identity, self-esteem, self-pride, and what you want to represent," Chung Tang, KELY Director.

“Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly,” Baz Luhrmann. I didn’t interview him, but the man has a point.