A geek posts something silly on the Internet, a message board pounces on it and a meme is born -- be it a video (Numa Numa), image macro (LOLcats) or catchphrase (“This. Is. SPARTA.”).

Most of these lulz (laughs) spawned from China’s Baidu forums, Japan’s 2chan and the English-language 4chan. One wonders what might happen if Asian and Western memes duked it out, Street Fighter style. So we’ve lined them up to let the fists fly.  

1. Hong Kong Bus Uncle vs. Epic Beard Man

Hong Kong Bus Uncle

A young Cantonese man asks the passenger in front to lower his voice -- and Bus Uncle snaps. For six minutes, he rants about the stresses of modern life while the poor rider cowers. First posted in the Hong Kong Golden Forum in 2006, the video attained 1.7 million hits in the first three weeks.

The low-down: Bus Uncle’s monologue is hilarious if you’re familiar with Cantonese slang and culture (“It’s not settled!”). As for Epic Beard Man… the words on his t-shirt say it all.

Winner: Epic Beard Man

2. “What brother is (doing) is not X, but loneliness” vs. Chuck Norris facts

Lonely brother eating ramen
An image of a Chinese emo boy eating ramen began circulating with the caption: “What brother is eating are not noodles, but loneliness.” Baidu’s bulletin boards picked up the phrase and churned out endless riffs, such as “What I am posting is not a post, but loneliness” and “What brother is smoking is not a cigarette, but loneliness.”

Chuck Norris Facts

Around 2005, netizens started making up facts about the supreme manliness of action hero Chuck Norris. “Chuck Norris can divide by zero.” “Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.” “They wanted to carve Chuck Norris on Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t tough enough for his beard.”

The low-down: The Norris running gag has grown tired, but what meme doesn't eventually get old?

Winner: Lonely brother

3. Jia Junpeng vs. Slender Man

Jia Junpeng

Last July, an anonymous person posted in Baidu’s World of Warcraft forum: “Jia Junpeng, your mother wants you to come home for dinner.” Within days, the thread had hundreds of thousands of replies from users purporting to be Jia Junpeng’s angry girlfriend, anxious mother and other fictional relatives.

Slender Man

In June, a thread entitled “Create Paranormal Images” took off in the Something Awful forums. Victor Surge wrote a story about Slender Man, a lanky fellow who elongates his limbs to trap his prey. Others added creepy images and tales until the post reached over 40 pages.

The low-down: Slender Man’s evolution was somewhat calculated, while the popularity of Jia Junpeng is remarkable. Who’d expect a random one-sentence post to become a national obsession?

Winner: Jia Junpeng

4. The Grass Mud Horse vs. The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Grass Mud Horse



CNN video about the Grass-Mud Horse.

The Baidu 10 Mythical Creatures originated in a tongue-in-cheek entry in China’s equivalent of Wikipedia. The article documents ten fictional creatures whose names sound like profanities -- a raised middle finger to the government’s Internet censorship. The most popular animal is the alpaca-like Grass Mud Horse (Cao Ni Ma), which sounds like “F*** your mother.” After the New York Times wrote about the phenomenon, plush toys and faux-documentaries hit the market.

In January 2005, the Kansas Board of Education proposed that science classes must include “intelligent design” while evolution should be called a theory. Oregon University student Bobby Henderson satirically protested that his Pastafarian theory -- “all things were created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster” -- should be allotted equal time in the classroom.

The low-down: The cuddly Grass Mud Horse scores points for being more merchandisable than a googly-eyed ball of pasta.

Winner: Grass Mud Horse

5. Little Fatty vs. Nic Cage as Everyone

Little Fatty

A photo of a pudgy Shanghai teen got in the hands of Chinese web surfers, who Photoshopped his face onto the body of every celebrity imaginable. By late 2006, “Little Fatty” was one of the most famous faces in China.

Nic Cage as Everyone

The blog Nic Cage as Everyone transposes Nicolas Cage’s face over anything and everything. By early 2010, the site was covered by major publications and had over 50 submissions a day.

The low-down: The Nic Cage meme makes fun of an already-famous actor. However, Little Fatty went from obscurity to movie stardom: he played the Last Emperor opposite Maggie Q, Andy Lau and Sammo Hung in Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon.

Winner: Little Fatty

6. Hikkoshi Baba vs. BAH!

Hikkoshi Baba

An old lady, nicknamed Hikkoshi Baba or Miyoko, was peeved at her neighbor for not greeting her when she moved in. For two years, she created as much of a ruckus as possible: blasting music, shining bright lights and whacking a rug on her balcony while screaming “move away!” -- a chant mimicked in numerous parodies.

In September 2006, an audition video for an Xbox commercial surfaced on YouTube and exploded on YTMND. The clip shows an old, confused Argentinean actress yelling “Bah! Bah!” as she shoots down her enemies.

The low-down: The Xbox lady pretends to be a demented granny on the warpath, while the Japanese baba appears to genuinely be off her rocker. Nod to the genuinely off kilter.

Winner: Hikkoshi Baba

7. Spooo vs. Spengbab

Spoo

SPOOO VIDEO by masashigenaoki.


Spooo is a cute dragon from a Japanese children’s show. In a widely-circulated clip, a girl draws the mascot so terribly that it looks more like a Monster of Hell. Overnight, creepy parodies such as this one hit Nico Nico Douga and other video-sharing sites.

Spengbab

Spengbab is Spongebob Squarepants if he were attacked by zombies and run through a meat grinder. The first twisted drawings and videos of the cartoon character appeared around late 2006 and still proliferate.

The low-down: I wouldn’t want to run into either innocent-character-gone-bad in my dreams.

Winner: Tie

8. Pancake Bunny vs. Spaghetti Cat

Pancake Bunny

One of the first widespread image macros was Oolong, a Japanese bunny who balanced pancakes and other edibles on his head. “Bunny Wafflehead” died in 2003, but not before being featured in a New York Times article.

A guest was discussing binge drinking and drunk driving on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet. Inexplicably, the segment cut to an image of a cat sitting in front of a large plate of spaghetti, and then cut back. Spaghetti Cat became popular in 2008 after he was featured on The Soup, and spawned video remixes and fan websites.

The low-down: Cute pets juxtaposed with human food and inserted in non-sequitur contexts -- a formula for memetic success.

Winner: Tie

9. Ran Ran Ru vs. Alice in Wonderland Remix

Ran Ran Ru

Japanese MAD movies splice audio-visual clips into a zany parody that usually have little to do with the original material. Ran Ran Ru cuts up Japanese McDonalds commercials and sets it to a frantic video game tune, “UN Owen Was Her.” The para para clown has been remixed in hundreds of videos on Nico Nico Douga and YouTube.

Alice Remix

Alice video by cameramannumber13.

Nick Bertke (a.k.a Pogo or Pogotron) uploaded a remix video of sounds and images from Disney’s animated “Alice In Wonderland” film. The delicate electronic track was praised on BoingBoing and other high-traffic websites.

The low-down: I can listen to Alice on repeat, but was never able to make it more than ten seconds into Ran Ran Ru.

Winner: Alice

10. Chin2 vs. Back Dorm Boys vs. Milk and Cereal

One of the first viral successes was a 2001 video made by two shirtless South Korean teens. The black-and-white, low-res clip shows the Chun Brothers dancing and lip-syncing to a disco song about a Chinese restaurant.

The Back Dorm Boys are two Chinese students who joyfully lip-synched Backstreet Boys songs in their dorm room. When YouTube launched in 2005, they became instance stars, signing contracts with Chinese web and mobile companies.

Two Virginia Tech students lip-synched to the song “Milk and Cereal” by the band G. Love & Special Sauce, using spoons as microphones and a jug of milk as a prop. The video was a hit and inspired young people around America to lip-synch for their lives.

The low-down: Viral videos have come a long way. These grainy forefathers seem so primitive next to the “How can she slap” and “Trololol Man” memes of today. Or maybe not.

Winner: If we're counting video views, then BDB dominates. Point to BDB

Final Score

• East: 6

• West: 2

• Tie: 2

For more on Asian memes, see CNNGo’s articles about Chinese political utterances that became hot phrases on the Internet, such as “Are you a Communist Party member? Are you prepared to speak for the Party or for the ordinary common people?” and “He hit the wall while he was duo mao mao.”