World's sexiest accents
In the unending pursuit of love, or its less eternal surrogate, the right accent can be as attractive as bright eyes, a beaming smile and a parabolic backside.
For world travelers, a far-flung tongue promises the unknown, confirms the known and dispels the thought-we-knew.
Does our highly scientific survey exclude your favorite accent? Vote on our Facebook poll.
But no accent is sexy when it’s strong enough to crush a beer can. Which means not all accents are created equal.
It’s estimated that there are nearly 7,000 languages on earth. That’s nearly 7,000 different ways to traipse clumsily through the English language -- or to sex it up like a Justin Timberlake song wrapped in chocolate cleavage.
Which begs our list of the world’s sexiest brogues. Some of you may have a legitimate case for inclusion in the top twelve. Others -- we’re looking at you, Vietgermans -- do not.
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Our also-rans included Putonghua (especially when Taiwanese women speak it in gentle tones), Australian (as appealing as warm Foster's to some, tantalizingly exotic to others) and Japanese (the language of repressed salarymen is also strangely designed for pillow talk).
Feel free to state your objections and/or rain your accolades in the comments section below or on our Sexiest Accents Facebook Poll.
Because when it comes to accents, there are no absolutes. Except that Bronx English is absolutely horrible.
12. Argentine
Famous tongues: Fernando Lamas, Gabriela Sabatini
A historical refuge for Spaniards, Italians and Germans, the hyper-libidinous South Ameripean melting pot of Argentina has cultivated a proud, pouty tone. With its own pronunciation of Spanish letters (“ll” sounds like “shh”) and its own words (“you” is “vos”), this is a dialect that’s hard to get. (Or at least plays that way.)
Sounds like: A tightly tuned guitar of G-strings strummed by a lamb shank
11. Thai
Famous tongues: Tony Jaa, Tata Young
With five tones comprising their native speech, the traffickers of this often fragile accent turn any language into a song of seduction. Thai is largely monosyllabic, so multi-beat foreign words get extra emphases right up until the last letter, which is often left off, leaving the listener wanting more. (Or at least asking “Huh?” lustfully.)
Sounds like: R-rated karaoke
10. Trinidadian
Famous tongues: Nikki Minaj, Billy Ocean
For fetishists of oddball sexuality, the Caribbean island of Trinidad offers an undulating, melodic gumbo of pan-African, French, Spanish, Creole and Hindi dialects that, when adapted for English, is sex on a pogo stick.
Sounds like: A rubber life raft bobbing on a sea of steel drums
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9. Brazilian Portuguese
Famous tongues: Alice Braga, Anderson Silva
Perhaps owing to its freedom from French influence, the Brazilian Portuguese accent has a more colorful, puerile flair than its coarser European counterpart. The resulting yowl of drawn-out vowels reveals a flirty freedom of spirit that sounds like a permanent vacation.
Sounds like: The near, then far, then near again hum of a low-wattage vacuum cleaner that runs on dance sweat
8. U.S. Southern
Famous tongues: Matthew McConaughy, Britney Spears
There’s nothing sexy about being in a hurry, and you could clock the growth rate of grass with the honeyed drawl -- less Tea Party, more “True Blood” -- of a Southern beau or belle.
Sounds like: Molasses taking a smoking break
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7. Oxford British
Famous tongues: Hugh Laurie, Sienna Miller
Authoritative. Upright. Erudite. Scholarly. Few accents promise the upward nobility of the Queen’s English. It’s a take on the language that sets hearts devoted to James Bond and Hermione Granger aflutter. And, should the speaker fail to slake your most wanton desires, eh, at least you’ll learn something.
Sounds like: A crisply ironed shirt playing a harp
Where does French land? Who has the sexiest accent? Click on to find out.
