World's best tourists

Mention the word “tourist” and you can be forgiven for recalling the expectorations, feeble linguistic skills and criminally small swimming briefs of this homogenous traveler “race.”

But not everyone’s like that.

To celebrate the diplomatic power of diversity, we’ve compiled a list of the best traveling nationalities. Including people who, even at their worst, are sort of memorable.

Which is why we travel in the first place.

It’s not scientific, it’s not definitive and it will probably make most nations not on it (and perhaps a few that are) angry -- which is another reason to love them.

Ours may be the first word on the matter, but it’s hardly meant to be the last.

Head to our Facebook page to let us know: who makes your Best Tourist list?

10. Canadians

Call her a Republican, then run for the hills.

Identifying travel feature: The Canadian flag. They sew it on everything: backpacks, hats, shirts, shorts, possibly underwear. Many probably have it tattooed some place in case their suitcase gets swiped by thieves who see the maple leaf as an invitation to lay their hands on dull but practical clothing.

Commendable habits: Not being American. All the affirming positivity of their southern peer, without the loud.

Such polite, earnest people that you actually root for their hockey team to beat yours in international competitions.

Shortcomings: Declaring themselves not American at every opportunity, as if they think they’re going to be blamed for the Iraq war, global warming or Sarah Palin.

9. English

Just a splash of blue and you've got a Union Jack.

Identifying travel feature: The nuclear tan. Deprived of sunlight at home, the English love frazzling their delicate complexions with the deadly rays emanating from our nearest star.

Commendable habits: They can (usually) speak English, and the tendency to burn can be used as a handy vacation timeline. Day 1: alabaster. Day 2: lobster. Day 3: blister. Day 4: peeler.

If you buy them a beer -- or even suggest it -- they’ll be your friend for life.

Shortcomings: For the English, vacations and alcohol go together like cheap liquor and waking up in a foreign hospital attached to a drip. Always unable to communicate in the local lingo, they resort to speaking English slowly and loudly: “Call ... the ... embassy ... someone ... has ... stolen ... my ... kidney ...”

8. Chinese

The most sanitized way to travel.

Identifying travel feature: Independent travel is still a rarity for Chinese vacationers. Most tour in organized groups, being bellowed at by a guide with a megaphone standing less than a meter away.

Commendable habits: Ready, willing and very able to eat anything you put in front of them … and appreciate it like a local.

Oh, yes, and money. While tourism is suffering in the global economic downturn, the Chinese are still spending.

Shortcomings: It’s still early days for Chinese global tourism, which is perhaps why vacation etiquette is a work in progress. The days of carving their names on historic sites and smoking absolutely everywhere will surely vanish soon.

7. Australians

You wouldn't know it, but it's minus 5 degrees here.

Identifying travel feature: Wearing the Aussie uniform of shorts, singlet and flip-flops regardless of local climate or cultural sensitivities.

Commendable habits: Infectious laid-back nature. If they’d been able to get visas, there would probably have been congenial Australians dressed like surfers wandering around Afghanistan under the Taliban. “Nice beard, mate ...”

Shortcomings: Congregating and abbreviating. Great on their own, but tough to take in large numbers (as witnessed in the Aussified bars of Bali’s Kuta resort), largely thanks to beer intake and insistence on shortening every second word. “Cazza and Wozza are going to Afghazza this arvo ...”

6. Italians

We'll forgive this one. In fact, we'll hold her bags, and shoes, and carry her up the mountain.

Identifying travel feature: Italians’ love of designer labels doesn’t leave them when they depart the shopping piazzas of Milan. It’s not unknown to see Italian women scaling the slopes of Machu Picchu in stiletto heels and using Gucci handbags to ward off slobbering llamas.

Commendable habits: If there are Italians, there’s probably good coffee.

They’re also the ones at the table across the restaurant having a much better time than you.

Shortcomings: Italians have a reputation for being pushy and caring little for the feelings of fellow travelers. Unfair, perhaps, but when your home is one of the world’s best tourist destinations, you can probably live with it.