Cod Satrusayang: How to date a Thai woman in Bangkok
If you’re a foreigner or, like me, you grew up abroad, then every dating rule that has ever been drummed into you or learned through trial and error should be unlearned.
In general -- there are exceptions, of course -- the Thai female is a whole other kind of crazy from every other species of woman in the world.
For example, you know how conventional wisdom says you have to be aloof and act disinterested so as not to appear too needy to a female? Yeah, that’s the first thing that should be defenestrated.
Thai girls like a man who is “aow jai,” which means they expect their men to pick them up, drop them off, hold their purse, wipe their butt and dote on their every move. If you forget to call at the anointed hour there will be hell to pay.
Don't worry, its not all bad. Not only are Bangkok’s women among the best looking in Asia, but there’s so many of them to choose from.
Go to any night spot on Thonglor or Ekamai and don't worry if you strike out with one, because there are literally hundreds of other girls who look exactly the same!
Be careful though -- style is much more important than substance here. Imagine a club full of trophy wives and you begin to get the picture.
It doesn't matter if you're a womanizing jerk who has the intellect of a monkey -- if you have the right last name, drive the right car or have an excessive amount of money, it doesn’t even matter if you're ugly.
If she likes you, it won’t be very hard to spot. She’ll move right on into your life.
Personal space? What’s that?
Keep in mind, dating a Thai woman is like dating the CIA given the amount of time she’ll spend investigating your email and phone records. She'll even call your friends when you're late coming home and interrogate them as to your whereabouts.
What’s ironic is that many of these young ladies come from nice middle-class families in which it’s okay for the man to have multiple mistresses because its culturally acceptable. Perhaps that explains their paranoia.
In fact, I have heard many of my friends' mothers tell their children it is okay for men to meander, as it’s just in their nature.
This concept of "mia nois" or "gigs" -- minor wives and flings -- is viewed as positive in contemporary Thai society, because it is one more thing (besides soaps and celebrity rumors) for women to gossip about, lest they pay attention to real issues such as a rising glass ceiling, paternalist society and sexual harassment in the workplace.
Just be careful that you do not insult the dignity of a Thai woman, which is central to being a "kulasatree Thai" (Thai lady).
You can swear at them, cheat on them, even have another wife, so long as you do it discreetly, because hell hath no fury like a Thai woman scorned ... in public, anyway.
There’s a reason Thailand is the world's leader in penis reattachment cases. There have also been recent incidents of acid attacks, kidnappings and other strange revenge cases against men who have alledgedly wronged their ladies in the public eye.
In the end, remember: if you want to date a Thai woman, as long as you’re needy, attentive and discreet you can get away with almost anything. Particularly if you’re rich.
Also on CNNGo: Alexis Ong: The problem with Singapore men
